(When You’re a Project Manager)
He married a woman. He got a backlog.
(And a lifetime subscription to Google Calendar reminders.)
I love my husband.
But sometimes I look at him — mid-chaos, blissfully unaware of dependencies, timelines, or blockers — and think:
“How have you survived this long without a risk register?”
Being a project manager married to a non-PM is like living in two realities. One runs on workflows. The other runs on vibes.
Here’s what that looks like.
1. He thinks “agile” means flexible dinner plans
He said “let’s wing it.”
So naturally… I made a backlog.
Bless him.
I once asked what we should do for our weekend getaway. He said, “We’ll figure it out when we get there.”
I blinked. Twice.
Then created a shared Google Doc titled “Weekend Alignment.”
We now have an agreement: I get to plan the trips, and he gets to pretend he’s winging it.
2. Our arguments have action items
We facilitate.
And yes, I do assign follow-ups.
We don’t fight.
We retrospect.
“You always leave your socks under the coffee table” turns into:
- Observation
- Impact
- Suggested improvement
Sometimes I follow up with a feedback form. (No, he has not completed one yet.)
3. His spontaneity both charms and terrifies me
I bring the risk log.
Together, we almost relax.
He’s the kind of person who buys last-minute concert tickets.
I’m the kind of person who books hotel rooms six months in advance and sends calendar invites for “unstructured chill time.”
We compromise: he surprises me with plans, and I surprise him with beautifully formatted itineraries.
4. I’ve tried not being a PM at home. It didn’t go well.
Day 3: I was color-coding the groceries and whispering “this isn’t scalable.”
There was a week I swore I’d “just go with the flow.”
No lists. No plans. No structure.
By day three, I was muttering “this isn’t sustainable” and dry-erase mapping our grocery strategy on the fridge.
5. I manage the household like a product. He lives in it like a user.
He improvises.
We somehow both eat breakfast.
I optimize.
I iterate.
I track task completion.
He opens drawers with no idea what’s in them.
I label things. He ignores labels.
I build systems. He builds… emotional chaos.
And somehow, it works.
6. He reminds me that not everything needs a roadmap
Sometimes, the best moments are the ones you didn’t overthink.
Some days, he’ll pull me away from the laptop and say, “We’re going out. No planning. Just trust me.”
My eye twitches.
But I go.
And you know what?
It’s usually perfect.
Not because it was optimized.
But because it was alive.
In conclusion…
Being married to someone who doesn’t think in Gantt charts is good for me.
He slows me down. Reminds me that love doesn’t need KPIs to matter. That joy doesn’t always fit on a task board.
And in return?
I give him structure, direction, and color-coded clarity he didn’t know he needed.
We’re different.
But somehow, we’re the best kind of cross-functional team.
Even if he still doesn’t understand why I call our Sunday breakfast “Sprint Planning Lite.”
🔥If you liked this article, check out the next one where we walk through how to navigate imposter syndrome as a PM.
Written by
Simina F.
| howtobecomeapm.com – Author
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